Well apparently he's into motor boating.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
