I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
