The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
