Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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