happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
