great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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