One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So vagazzling was a success
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
