for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
