my mouth tastes like poor choices
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
