batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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