tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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