it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
