Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
