You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
