She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
