ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
