apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
