and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
how do flat chested girls get laid?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
