First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
