Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
4 words: hood of his car
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
