Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
