Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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