no, he came in my armpit
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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