I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I supernannyed him into submission
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
