You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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