nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
