i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
