Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
