'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
