Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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