i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
