where am i from again
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We have so much sex to catch up on
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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