peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
