He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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