oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
