So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
