Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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