well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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