I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
