what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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