just survived the first fart of the relationship.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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