He felt like a one man threesome
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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