I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
