This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
