Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
