I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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