that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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