Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
