did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
my poor anus
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
