it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
