Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
