I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
