I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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