And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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